Slim Jim, makers of fine dry meat snacks, have a launched virtual world for "people who want to explore their spicy side." This inspired locus, dubbed Spicy Town, is a "wild place where people can create a unique alter ego that’s a little aggressive, insane, adventurous, and mischievous." So say Slim Jim's PR agency, which encourages me to let you all know that, once you've created your Spicy Side avatar, you can "challenge other users to real-time rumbles, talk smack, or just hang out in the immersive digital Spicy Town where you can cruise around and break mailboxes, spray paint walls, and collect Slim Jims to unlock new spicy moves and annihilate unsuspecting Spicy Side residents."

I know what you're thinking. "Where," you ask yourselves, dear readers, "can I see a 2-minute video that highlights the Spicy Town community?" Fear not, fellow purveyors of pressed meat sticks, for that too I can provide.

The only question that remains, I'm sure, is what more life could have to offer, after having been given the opportunity to literally "step into a Slim Jim." Sadly, this question I cannot answer, as the future seems dull and bland, like an old stick of meat and preservative, now that I can call Spicy Town my virtual home.