I made this stupid joke on Twitter today:

The primary innovation in OSX 10.9 will be the move to canine product names.

I was referring to Apple’s longstanding tradition of code-naming their OS X releases after “big cats”: Cheetah (the original OS X), Tiger, Lion, Leopard, etc.. The thing is, they’re running out of big cats. I don’t think cougar or clouded leopard have seen their mugs on one of Apple’s white or black boxes, but those names seem somewhat implausible. Cougar has, uhm, connotations, and clouded leopard is a bit awkward. [Edit: as Mike Keesey reminds me in the comments, a cougar is the same as a mountain lion anyway.]

Why not move to dogs, then? Just imagine. OS X Golden Jackal. OS X Grey Wolf. Hey, why not OS X Direwolf?

Anyway, shortly after posting the tweet above I realized something terrible. In the event that Apple really did something like this (and really, they are going to run out of big cats), the stupid tech industry press would cover it like it’s news. “Apple Completes Big Cat Operating System Family,” or “Apple Goes to the Dogs” or some such. Ugh.

published August 7, 2012

Comments

  1. Mike Keesey (@tmkeesey)

    Cougars are the same thing as mountain lions, anyway (Puma concolor).

    If they can use dire wolves, then that means saber-tooth cats are still on the table, no? (Okay, Smilodon and the like are technically stem-felids while dire wolves are proper canids, but….)

  2. Ian Bogost

    And the same thing as panthers, now that I think about it. Right?

    (Incidentally, the captcha for this comment was “goldfish”).

  3. Mike Keesey (@tmkeesey)

    “Panther” can refer to pumas, but can also refer to pantherines (leopards, lions, tigers, jaguars, etc.), as in “black panther” (which usually refers to a melanistic leopard). The latter is the original meaning; calling pumas “panthers” is sort of a fossilized mistake from the Age of Exploration, like calling bison “buffalo”.

    I guess they already used “Puma” for 10.1, so “Cougar” wouldn’t be ruled out, except for the reasons you mention.

  4. Mike

    OS X Ocelot!

  5. Will Hubbell

    How horrible it would be if somebody commented on the actual transition, and not the hypothetical one.

  6. Nathanael Bassett

    Where they really missed out was naming iOS versions after little cats. Just think – iOS Tabby. iOS Persian. Cute and fuzzy!