Being a fan of the limp, slightly wet roast beef sandwich, today I luncheoned at Arby's. In addition to the more savory offerings, they had a new dessert option (new to me, at least): Arby's Cheesecake Poppers. Behold:

These are little deep-fried cheesecake bits served with a sweet raspberry sauce. Sounds pretty good in theory. Not good for you, of course, but tasty.

In practice, though, these things are seriously nasty. The cheesecake melts a lot in the deep fryer, despite what the photo shows above. The fried surface looks much more brown and mottled and much less crispy. All put together, when you dip the Cheesecake Popper into the raspberry sauce and then bite to release the oozey, white middle, it feels and looks like you are chomping into a huge, fetid troll pimple, swollen with foul pus and blood.