One might want to add:

Then I'd love to mis-quote you in my article and also list your affiliation incorrectly in my attribution, or possibly use your input without citing you at all, as our readers cannot cope with too many names in one article.

It would be awesome to know what was the inspiration for this.

@Jana
Hahaha. As someone suggested to me elsewhere, one might also add "Also, if you could send me the names and email addresses of any colleagues I might contact today, I would greatly appreciate it."

@Luis
It's been sitting in my text editor for months, actually. Every time I get an email of this ilk I revise it a little. I have plenty of friends and colleagues who are good journalists, but, alas, I seem to see a lot more stuff like this.

You need to create a pseudonym, maybe even go so far as to publish an article or two under the name. When people write you, tell them you're busy but suggest this person to help them.

Then, when asked these frivolous questions, make up the craziest, most incorrect, insultingly stupid shit you can possible think of, and watch it make the article.

It might be a little far to go for a laugh, it does seem like it would be satisfying. :)